shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
