Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
