Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
