please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Randomize
