I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
