Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
