If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
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