i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
