dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
