just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
