need another drink. this is the easiest way
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
