He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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