brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I've blown a few things in my day
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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