I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Enjoy the penises
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
