I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I think I died a long time ago.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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