i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
