we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
