I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
