i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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