Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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