I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
