my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
