Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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