connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
