sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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