All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
