FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
