do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
