is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
