Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
