When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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