At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
