I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
