Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
