i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
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