This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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