found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
