I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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