So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
