once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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