how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
