I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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