R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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