matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
This is classic penis vs brain.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
