absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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