just survived the first fart of the relationship.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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