i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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