also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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