Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
