I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
