please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
