some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
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